NOTES ON 'GOD', THE VIBE SHIFT, WATER, AND UKRAINE

god, for example

GOD’S LATENESS

1.1.

I’ve had ‘covid’ for the last few weeks. My ability to write and be angelicism01 was completely shut down. It made me realize (again) that threat is what we are facing and passing through: the complete extinction of all creativity. The feeling was of something in abeyance, a feeling I know from meditation. The importance of meditation ‘practice’ is simply to keep in the foreground the availability of the vast intelligence we all carry. Otherwise, for example when seriously ill, our awareness of available intelligence falls into abeyance or, worse still, total ignorance.

1.2.

Whatever ‘covid’ turns out to be, for me it felt like absolute ignorance, absolute closing down of intelligence. Part of the subtlety of Dzogchen meditation ‘practice’ is to contemplate and feel the independence of realization and occasion. For instance, it may feel like the loving feeling of perfect intelligence has absolutely gone, but once we are familiar with what intelligence is at depth we know that even in states of abeyance the same intelligence is still absolutely present. Saint Augustine expressed the same idea by writing, ‘You were with me, but I was not with you.’ In his idiom the word ‘God’, here addressed as ‘you’, is used to say that when he was not with ‘God’, ‘God’ was still with him. Realization and awareness, cognition and feeling, absolute intelligence even in absence of all decision.

1.3.

In bed, without my sense of taste, with one whole arm paralyzed by pins and needles, unable to do anything but hate-scroll and terrorize in and out, there was nothing but the abeyance of the absolute intelligence that is always there. Even in the elision of intelligence, You are still there—even when you are not there, even when absolutely You are not there. In the same way, when ‘health’ comes back, as it now just about has, what has changed? Given that awareness is not dependent on its occasions of realization, it may well be that nothing has changed. Outward appearances have changed—I can just about use both arms, I can taste again, and so on—but nothing has changed in the status of intelligence itself.

1.4.

While I was ‘dead to the world’ my sense of ‘being angelicism01’ was removed or levelled out. Since angelicism01 is just a name for the inherence in the human of absolutely open intelligence, it’s possible of course that the name ‘angelicism01’ drop away at any time. Something I keep coming back to is the fact that even if we erase a name like ‘angelicism01’, something else always comes in its place. And, even if that something else is a ‘pure’ mathematical cypher—let’s say ‘01’—then ‘01’ also carries with it inevitable metaphysical, mathematico-historical assumptions. The pure name always is and has a name, in other words, it always passes through a name, even if that name doesn’t have to be a ‘Christian name’. Insofar as angelicism01 already is dying to the world and its names, it is a dying out of Christian names as well.

1.5.

Saint Augustine’s expression of his God’s being with him when he was away from Him also carries with it less obvious Christian overtones. For example Augustine actually expresses this Love in terms of a certain lateness and the problem with that is that it introduces a different order of time and a different relation of realization and its occasions into the picture. If I am late to God, that means that even when God was with me and I was not with Him, God was not yet with me. But we know from ‘practice’ that is not the case. We know, in fact, that realization is not awareness, that we can be aware and in awareness even when that awareness appears to be absolutely gone. Here is more of how Augustine of Hippo puts it, in what might be called a ‘famous passage’:

Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me, but I was not with you. Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would have not been at all.

The difference here between a Christian conception of time and love of You and one based in empty practice of ongoing emptiness is first of all that there is no lateness at all in our relationship with absolute intelligence as felt and iterated thing. The pathos of lateness implies it is possible—regret, therefore—that we come to God earlier. This pathos connotes not only regret, but waste. But how can time be wasted when God is with us when we are not with Him, ‘outside’, searching in external things?

1.6.

The radical cut in an emptiness practice entails that even in extreme depression and sickness as the absolute delay of ‘realization’, we are still realized. In some ways, Augustine’s sense of ‘lateness’ may itself be seen as the trigger for only getting to God at the end. And in that specific sense, eventually the mere Christian ‘paradox’ is expressed:

Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would have not been at all.

Created things made me late, and yet, he clearly says, even these merely ‘external’ things were created by you, and so I was already there, by implication. I was already in you. You were with me, open intelligence, even when I was not with you. I am in you, for you, of You.

1.7.

Augustine is also talking about sex specifically. What diverts him is ‘beauty’, the beauty of sexual experience and abandon (concupiscence). It is sexual experience that competes with ‘God’, that takes us outside God, and yet which also consists of sensations and experiences created by and containing God (God can totally, luxuriantly, waste us). Looking back on such experiences later on, what actually happens is that Augustine recognizes that what he missed was not God but the extremely subtle factor of remembering that God is there even when and perhaps especially when He is not.

1.8.

Whilst ill with Covid, there was a flurry of texts about ‘the vibe shift’. Caught in a miserable state, I began to believe that something had gone wrong, that ‘the vibe shift’ had been spoiled, stolen, appropriated. That is, the confusion of intelligence being in abeyance and believing it meant that I reckoned things really were from now on vibeless. But once again, we can say, the vibe was with me even when I was not with it. The Vibe, which is just another name for what some still call ‘God’, is present even when it is not present, especially when it is not present. What ‘practice’ does is open up the experiences of lateness, regret, lust, and all God’s vibing, to reveal them as what they really are.

A NOTE ON WATER

2.1.

At the end of last summer, I abandoned the writing of the angelicism project for a while, left it in abeyance for three months, and went through the test of seeing what happened. I want to note down one thing that happened as openly and cryptically and economically as possible. Some of the last texts I wrote at that time focused on the motif of ‘dissolution’. Some time after the suspension of angelicism, this motif was taken up in a way that seemed to me both powerful and mistaken. ‘Dissolution’ became, for a moment, nothing but water. It was adopted exclusively as a liquidating in the literal sense of a hydro-theology, a finding in water everything anyone could ever want (‘God’). It remains hard for me to understand how in ‘dissolution’ anyone could only hear ‘water’, as if one ‘dissolves’ a paracetamol but never a marriage or parliament. In fact, the word ‘dissolution’ means ‘disintegration’ originally, if original (etymological) status here comes to mean something. Between these two senses, perhaps only then, everything ‘dissolves’ (time spaces, space times, etc).

2.2.

This difference—between dissolution as liquidation and dissolution as disintegration—may in fact, as just hinted at by evoking the spacialization of time and vice versa, be everything. If dissolution were just a matter of watery dissolution, all would indeed be water, one element would dominate among others, and physical disintegration would be impossible. If, on the other hand, ‘dissolution’ is itself ambiguous, then one can say that the senses we choose to give ‘liquidation’ are themselves immeasurably fluid. The challenge here would be to keep liquidity itself fluid, to notice the tension between disintegration and dissolution, between time, space, and God, and to attend to what happens and blurs everything between and before these relatively limited concepts.

UKRAINE

0.1.

The problem, then, is not a European state but the presentation of this state as the Example They have Chosen for us. Again, through the mist of Covid and ‘War’, ignorance kicks in. We take the Example given as the manifest and only Theme. We take the given European state to be the thing to talk about at this time. The only thing to talk about at this time. All the time.

0.2.

Let us call the state in question a redacted state, so as to stay open to the very question. Isn’t the first ‘take’ we need on this to do with standing back from the presentation of the Example? Isn’t that what drives us nuts and makes us go nuclear with each other, all the focus on It when it’s so obvious that it’s the chosen example right now, it’s the Example They Want Everyone To Spend All Their Time With? Like God, presented to us as example—maybe not the One we want or need.

0.3.

One day we’ll extend the idea of Abstinence to knowing that we don’t have to go with the Examples They Choose. Even someone like redacted came out of private mode on Twitter for the first time since like 2016 or something to give Her Take and I’m like sister u got most of this shit wrong even tho you been to Harvard. But the first thing you got wrong is the Presentation, the Choice.

MORE ON THE VIBE SHIFT

3.1.

The vibe shift is present at all times, it’s just a name for what you will have used to call ‘god’ when you have finished sucking.—Please finish sucking so I can look at you.

3.2.

The corruption of the vibe shift by MSM is empty and illusory; there is actually no other way that angelicism01 could have gone global. It had to do so as misreading, but at least it did so as that.

3.3.

About three people know what the ‘vibe shift’ is. Its becoming-common and empty was a fantastic sign. A chance.

3.4.

The ‘vibe shift’ has just been emptied out completely. The viral/virus knows best, just like nature as a whole.

3.5.

Surviving the vibe shift: this means cognizing extinction qua extinction and continuing as part of (a)culture.

3.6.

I am the vibe shift.

THE HUMAN’S LAST STAND

0.0.

The last stand of the human is the unique unsupportable sentence, dignity and softness eternal: ‘everyone is dead but me’. Whatever we do we have to make sure it is still possible to say, think, feel, that: surrounded by zombies we need that redoubt, that indestructible vehicle. Said again, the last stand of the human is the unique unsupportable sentence, dignity and softness eternal: ‘everyone is retarded but me’.

0.0.0.

I returned the Christian name to sender forever.

5 March 2022