REVULSION AND VULNERABILITY
Why I am so vulnerable.
Revulsion is valuable when viewed as the dynamic energy of open intelligence. Its momentum has been enough to keep me offline and stop me posting, which is what I wanted. So that is its value to me.
As angelicism01 I am not recommending anything. As angelicism01 I have no meaning outside discrete writing acts. I am just empowered by revulsion right now and happy because I feel almost freed of an older identity. It means I can remake myself or just be open to the 01.
Revulsion therefore made me vulnerable to someone else, to something else. Vulnerability as a theme made my heart open for real. The feeling of love and commitment when I remain in the spark of vulnerability (revulsion) is something I thought was impossible; mostly I was wrong; mostly I was wrong to put any limit on what I could be so vulnerable to.
Like Chögyam Trungpa, I have my own wildnesses. The picture of Chögyam Trungpa with the gun to his head is something I understand. You can see it below. I am so vulnerable to the world as it is, and so wanting to only be present to you, to it, to my Lama, to my gun, to my wrath, to this teaching, and to the emptiness of my vulnerability and the vulnerability of my emptiness, to the 01 tathāgata itself.
Here is what he wrote:
Who is not so bright, so vulnerable, so sad and so wretched to be not so vulnerable at the present time?
Who is not so enjoined by this brittle, weak, all-vulnerable little word ‘so’ right now?
I am enjoined so, by this ‘so’, I am so so so. I am so over, so vulnerable to this so so so ‘so’. I am so vulnerable to the ‘nothing is over’, to the ‘everything is here’, to the ‘far more than everything is gone and going’.
Made weak and tired by the overpowerfullness of language, by the omnilapse of language, by the surge and water powers of language so vulnerable to repeated ends and themselves.
Language is nothing, however much you say in it, you are so vulnerable, so bright, so so over, after and before all its sayings.
Nothing to accept or reject except being so vulnerable.
So vulnerable to nothing and its vulnerability to nothing.
Nothing so vulnerable as this nothing sparked by nothing so vulnerable as this nothing.
There where there were no solutions, where there had been no solutions, where all solutions had failed.
So bright, so vulnerable.
Before things are named, so wretched, so bright, so weak, so vulnerable.
I am
I was
I will be
so vulnerable.
I will carry myself into this universal water element that is not my choice, I will be as vulnerable as water is to water, which is to say laugh at all the elements including water, which I will point a gun at, my vulnerability to them itself so vulnerable, my liquidity so ineffably liquid it passes into and right through tathāgatagarbha and into the 01.
I will enter only into vulnerability until it is (so) obvious at all times.
This vulnerability to vulnerability, this vulnerableness so vulnerable to the vulnerable in its own vulnerable core, this is nothing but tathāgatagarbha.
My pronoun is so vulnerable.
My pronoun is the core, the queen aspect, the nothing so vulnerable as nothing to nothing.
My pronoun and name is Tathāgatagarbha 01.
Before things are named, I am so vulnerable and so wretched. I am like the online worm, so worn down and vulnerable to itself, the desert power of nothing to come, the laughter power of ineffable self-liquidity.
Before things are, I am given to the Buddha-Matrix, the Buddha-Embryo, the Buddha-Essence, the womb of the thus-come-01.
If there are angels, I shall see them first. If there are angels I shall be vulnerable to them first.
If there is still a God, I shall see her first. If there are Gods, I shall be vulnerable to them first.
Since there are no Gods, since there have never been any Gods save this vulnerability so vulnerable to itself, then I shall not see, I will not breathe, I will drown, beyond all water and all sayings, I will open through all elements at once.
Since 2021, this is what we made. Since 2021, this is what we were made of.
This thisness was so vulnerable to the 1.
What could have been more vulnerable than this 01 in 2021?
Than this so? Than this so suchness which was now so so over for good?
If there is a so-vulnerability, perhaps I shall see it first. First among equals, who would this vulnerability before all be?
The whole earth is in vulnerability, of water to fire, of air to laughter, of mind to emptiness, so so vulnerable.
The whole earth in vulnerability, including extinction.
This whole earth so vulnerable, extinction now included.
What could be more vulnerable than everyone on earth feeling the threat to human life immediately and presently like we all do?
based